the badger in my pants

listening when i should be sleeping

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 07:25:00 GMT

i'm at chris's listeneing to him and austin talk about the play that they are collaborating on for directing class. it is fun, but i really should be asleep. but i'm really enjoying being here with my love and my friends, who tonight i really feel close to. i found out today that i will probably not be doing the straight play next semester (nessicary targets by eve ensler) and will more than likely be designing the dance show.. i'm not sure how i feel about all this, but we'll just see. i have to decide if i want to work as the shop manager...mostly beause i don't think that i could stand it if someone else did it...because i am so specific about how i want to work in there...but i just might have too many classes to take next semester... and i think i'm going to ausition to go to honduras with the children's show. not guaranteeing that i will get in or anything...i odn't know. i have at least 15 hours next semster and i want to manage the shop...but i don't want my head to explode. i want to design i want to finish my senior project which right now is just a drawign and not a very good one at that...i want to manage...i want to travel. i want to graduate!!i love austin. and i know taht i say that a lot, but i've been in a mood for a couple of days and he just cheered me up a whole lot. i don't know. we tried to reschedule our gatlinburg trip for the end of the month...i really hope it works this time. i hope that austin can take time off from his family for a weeked alone. turned off phones. realxed babies. hmm. i'm ready to go home. i just don't know how much more of this i can take. i like the rapture and for some reason i feel a little embarrassed about it. but that is because i can't have stand alone opinions. i think i'm going to go nap. yyeess.

i almost died last night

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 17:11:12 GMT

yup. i almost died. for the sake of theatre. not really. i was with austin and his sister katie. driving to nashville to see noises off for her birthday. austin's jeep was making funny vibrating shaking noises. started to get real bad. driving down braod street heading to 840. tried to turn around in little turn lane. car dies. smoke coming off engine. called police to get help getting out of the road. called parents to report that car was broke. car bursts into flames. IT CAUGHT ON FIRE while we were still in the car. i didn't think i was going to be able to get my seatbelt off. then i was afraid i was going to get hit by oncoming traffic. all the while being afraid that the car i was in was going to blow up. police came. rerouted traffic. fire truck came. put car out. tow truck came. hauled car off. whole front of car melted off from CATCHING ON FIRE. got home in one shaken piece.

i almost died last night.

I am NOT HAPPY.

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 14:33:40 GMT

so lnz and i have been planning for awhile to have this party at my house for her birthday. i think she first mentioned it last summer. planning and planning. so i had to work at 8:30 this morning, and i was going to bed early because during the week the only time i'm not up by 6 am is when i get to "sleep in" for my 9:40 class. so it's like 11:00 and i'm in bed watching a movie and sarah comes in and asks if some people can come over because "they wanted to come over to our house". i say ok, because it's her house too, as long as they are quiet and i can sleep to go to work early. she said ok. she didn't even really look like she wanted to have a people over. well i fall asleep at midnight or so and am rudely awakened by her and her drunken group of minors at 2 am. there are two doors shut between us and i can hear distinct conversations. i tried to be discreet and call her from my room, but she wouldn't pick up the phone. do i just tried to deal with it and got up to put in some ear plugs. worked. fell asleep. woke up at 6:45 to get up and get ready for work. walk down the hall, there are 3 girls with sarah in her bed. there are two boys asleep in the livingroom. there are dishes and trash everywhere. and one of my favorite collectable glasses is ruied and broken. i throw a fit. there are no dishes for breakfast. there is no room to do dishes. i can't wash them for fear of waking up sleeping boys. i am mad. and now i have to work for 5 hours, then go home and clean for the party that i planned a month ago. thanks. and i know that she is going to say something about us haveing a party when she has to get up early, but she knew about it with enough time to get someone to cover for her. and we are not stupid and rowdy like they are. i hope they all go to PLAY tonight and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:18:10 GMT

You scored as Loner.

</td>

Loner

56%

Drama nerd

50%

Punk/Rebel

44%

Geek

44%

Goth

25%

Stoner

19%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

13%

Ghetto gangsta

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

10 minutes of freedom

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 23:02:24 GMT

i'm at work on one of the shortest 10 minutes ever. we finally moved to the 1016 Ewing house. on the cool street and loving it. come by if you want. we should be done decorating today or tomorrow. things are boring. Sarah is going to NYC in a couple of days and i'm scared of my house. slumber party anyone? i'm running out of money left and right. owe lots to lots. not excited. like this entry. been trying to get my ass in gear to start designing. started reading steal magnolias yesterday and love it. four minutes left. i'm ready for this night to be over. 2 and a half more hours. i'm out of internet again, but i'm here at work every day so i will try once more to keep the updates, well, up to date? retarded. me. check.

later.

oh me oh my

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 19:00:32 GMT


movies are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

i don't know how much longer i can take this. this living in this house-ness. i can't take the cats single handedly (pawdedly?) destroying my craft room in a matter of minutes. i can't take them scratching at the door all the time and eating my hair rubber bands. i can't take alex being a dick. hes always right and we're always wrong. and i hate it. i want to move out. we got an ultimatum from spencer the crazy landlord that alex mixed up the first time he told us. we have to have a for sure roomy by the 15th or we have to move out by the first. no offense anna, but i'm ready to just move out. i dan't want to have anything to do with his family after all of this. spencer doesn't want us to live here anymore and i think he would look for any reason to kick us out. i'm going to look in the paper and call a couple of places today and tomorrow. i want to get out of here.

other than that things are going great! haha. we did 24 hour theatre last night and it was one of the best ones yet. everytime we do it it just gets better and better. all the plays went over well and things looked great. thanks to everyone for coming and working so hard and enjoying it so much. this one was so relaxing and better than last year.

i have to go and get ready for work here in a minute. i don't want to go. why did i sign up for this shit? i called out of the coffee shop this morning because i couldn't move. i felt bad, but not that bad. ha.

i want to move out. again.

i want to hang out with jessica and lnz soon. ; )

all the guys at the gap are gay...except 2 i think....

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 15:27:01 GMT

i worked at the gap yesterday. not really worked but watched videos and had the big holiday meeting. i can't believe that amount of people that are employed there. it has to be like 50 people. out of control. but i like it and if it conflicts too much with the coffee house i will just have to do some serious reajustment or quit the coffee house. becuase i get a much better discount from the gap. haha.

so alex is moving out january first. haha. i kept hoping that would happen. sarah and i get to stay if we pay (collectively) $850 a month instead of $750. and that's cool. but i asked anna to move in with us beause i had talked to her first and the most about living together. sorry, heidi, i don't mean to leave you out, but i did ask her first. : ( but you can come hang out all you want. ; )

other than that things are good. my parents are going to michigan for thanksgiving and i am going to be austin's spouse for his family's celebration. and i'm excited about it. uncle mark is not doing great and i would like to spend some time with them while i can. i love his family. maybe wednesday i can make something festive to take over there. hmm. we'll have to think about that one. that's all for now. school in an hour. i think i'll go with greasy hair. aaallllrrrriiiggghhtt.

bah bah bah bah bah

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 17:21:46 GMT

tired. thoughts and actions that i regret. i'm sorry that i make you jealous. i don't try. or do i? i flirt with clint to make you love me. to make you run up to me and take me away because you are in love with me. i'm glad you opened up to me last night. i love you. more everyday.

i got a job at the gap. haha. it's just seasonal for now. but i'm pretty excited. i start today at one. hopefully i will have lots of fun hours. i really want to quit the coffee shop because i don't feel like they like me. that they don't like working with me and such. i just don't know.

we saw ryan adams last night. i cried a lot. he's voice is just so beautiful. i couldn't contain myself. i have so many memories connected to his songs and his voice. they remind me of austin and laura jeanne...people that i love and people that i miss.

i went becasye you said you'd be there
box of candy smoke in your hair

this has been a random weekend. and thanksgiving is thursday which means this is a short week. and i'm excited. i don't have one of my classes on wednesday because no one wanted to come. including out teacher. my parents are going to michigan which means i will get to spend my first thanksgiving with austin's family traditions. and that makes me feel very warm inside.

i hope we are together for a long time to come. i kept seeing that last night. picking out ryan adams songs for our wedding. thinking that we will be seeing shows and bonding through them for years to come. we went to the boundry because ryan sings about it in "tennessee sucks" (good song). it was very special.

and then i had to go and ruin it all by being stupid. another story for another day i guess.

debating aboiut whether to nap or do homework. not really sure which one will make me feel better. i think napping.

goodnight.

haha.

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 04:54:58 GMT

I adopted a cute lil' Scotty fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

i have four minutes...

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 23:06:06 GMT

i haven't updated in like a month and a half. i'm a bad person. but i look like kate winslet today and my boyfriend said that was alright. oh yeah. party at anna's tonight. birthday birthday. i remember last time we had anna's party and austin and i got really really drunk and i made anna dirty magnets. that will not be happening tonight. i told myself that i was going to lay off the drink because there are too many fattening things that make me feel not so fresh in the morning. i have two minutes. i want to move out so bad. but i have to get my truck fixed up and pay for ACTF (i hope you all are going, feb 1-6) and then pay for my internship ($8,000) and all that. so there. i think austin should be here now. i have no minutes.

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 14:48:44 GMT

i've been having a hard time dealing with my emotions lately. they just seem too strong to control and understand all at once. last night both sarah and alex had sleepover partners and i cried my self to sleep. boy that's dramatic. i was in a fight with austin and he just didn't get it. whenever i have a problem with sometihing that he is doing he just turns it around and makes it all my problem. that i'm percieving the situation worng and therefore wrongfully hurt and wrongfully mad at him. basically he gets mad that i am mad. this is so dumb. i can't take it sometimes how petty i can be. but when things are real emotions, they are real emotions. i am not inventing them (that i know of) and i was just trying to tell him how i feel. that's all. and i get shit for it. dammit! and now we have to spend all night together at the pixies...and i almost don't want to. i just want things to be perfect. just once. but...they won't be. happy one year. blah blah blah.

grr.....

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Soulmates
Your meeting was by	Fate
They are your	Strength
You are their	True love
Your love will	Stay alive

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 14:33:02 GMT

i don't know if i sent this to all of you, but this is the e-mail that i was talking about....if you want to sign the petition i will send it to you.

Subject: Hager FDA appointment

President Bush has announced his plan to select Dr. W. David Hager to head up the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee. The committee has not met for more than two years, during which time its charter lapsed. As a result, the Bush Administration is tasked with filling all eleven positions with new members. This position does not require Congressional approval.
The FDA's Reproductive Health Drug Advisory Committee makes crucial decisions on matters relating to drugs used in the practice of obstetrics, gynecology and related specialties, including hormone therapy, contraception, treatment for infertility, and medical alternatives to surgical procedures for sterilization and pregnancy termination.
Dr. Hager, the author of "As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now." The book blends biblical accounts of Christ healing Women with casestudies from Hager's practice. His views of
reproductive health care are far outside the mainstream for reproductive technology. Dr. Hager is a
practicing OB/GYN who describes himself as "pro-life" and refuses to prescribe contraceptives to unmarried women.
In the book Dr. Hager wrote with his wife, entitled "Stress and the Woman's Body," he suggests that women who suffer from premenstrual syndrome should seek help from reading the bible and praying. As an
editor and contributing author of "The Reproduction Revolution: A Christian Appraisal of Sexuality Reproductive Technologies and the Family," Dr. Hager appears to have endorsed the medically inaccurate assertion that the common birth control pill is an abortifacient. We are concerned that Dr. Hager's strong religious beliefs may color his assessment of technologies that are necessary to protect women's lives or to preserve and promote women's health. Hager's track record of using religious beliefs to guide his medical decision-making makes him a dangerous and inappropriate candidate to serve as chair of this committee. Critical drug public policy and research must not be held hostage by antiabortion politics. Members of this important panel should be appointed on the basis of science and medicine, rather than politics and religion. American women deserve no less.
There is something you can do. Below is a letter to be sent to the White House, opposing the placement of Hager. Please copy all the text of this email and paste it into a fresh email; then sign your
name below and SEND THIS TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO IS CONCERNED
ABOUT WOMEN'S RIGHTS.

Every 10th person please forward e-mail to president@whitehouse.gov

THAT'S IT!!!

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 11:42:48 GMT

i'm tired of being a fatty fat fat fat.

i'm going on a diet.

i'm going to exercise as much as my will power will let me.

please encourage me.

i really need it.

Thu, 16 Sep 2004 13:45:41 GMT

i'm sitting here. a big bal of emotions. eating stolen yogurt. waiting for my hair to dry. waiting to go to school and then striaght to work. i'm not happy about today's prospects. this whole 18 hours thing is really starting to get to me. i feel like i'm under this cloud of homework that just won't let up. as soon as i feel like i'm making headway, i get all distracted and then realize that i have 4 more hours to go. and then i go to class and it's just one more thing. grr! i know that everyone else is going through this too. i just wanted to rant about it. i need to go to the grocery store. i wish i could walk to school. then maybe i wouldn't be so fat. i think i will put off going to the grocery store until sunday. my one day off. then i can organize my diet and actually start doing better to myself. until then...peanut butter sandwhiches and kuc salads. oh, and vegan soup from creme caramel. yum. at this rate i won't have any money for groceries. grr. maybe i'll go tonight after work. yeah right...i hate this. and on top of everything i have to go to a wedding tomrrow. and i'm going to cry. a lot. because it's my friend erin from growing up and her adorable husband to be herman the columbian. they are great. and all this wedding planning has been making me think about my wedding of course and i'm glad that most of the time my boyfriend shows no interest in getting married at all. it's not that i want to right now! it's just that i would like the security of knowing that you love me that much because i love you that much. i don't want a ring i don't want a husband right now. i was thinking the other day about this and saying to myself, you know? if he asked me tomorrow i would probably say no. becuase it's not right yet. it's a good idea for the future. but not tomorrow. grr. i feel like i scare him every time i mention things like this. i don't wanna talk about it anymore.

i really should be getting ready for school. like right now. like really. right now. but i'm not in the mood. i'm glad i don't have to do a monologue today. geez.

i feel like i should be here

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 13:35:35 GMT

.....like i should be writing about something important...heidi, that entry was amazing. i had no idea. and i feel you very much so. we'll talk about it one day. ; ) i've just been working a lot and doing a lot of homework. they had a party at my house yesterday and i'm glad that i stayed at austin's. because i got to sleep. it's sad to miss out when all your friends are having a good time, but i have a lot to read and a lot to design. which is technically what i am supposed to be doing now. i just had an 11 month anniversary on sunday. that means the next one is a year. amber said that was engagement ring time. i guess i'm not that much of a girl to want jewelry from my man. or to really care if he wants to marry me. because i know that if we are meant to be together for the next however long it will happen. things are great now. he's great now. and that's really all that should matter.

i love hot tea.

i hate only having one day off all week.

i love going to bed at 10 and waking up at 5.

i love learning about other cultures and costumes and history of costumes. it's fascinating.

i hate that i have to go to school here in a few minutes. grr.

i hate when he pushes me away when all i really want to do is help. to nurture. to love. do i really scare you that much?

hurumph. if i wasn't afriad of dying, i would ride my bike to school.

internet!!

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 14:57:39 GMT

i have internet in my room again. which means that i will finally be back on this motha. and instant messenger. so give a girl a holla.

while my baby is sleepin

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 15:47:09 GMT

i've been having some introspective days here lately. thinking about my writing and thinking about this whole play thing. austin got the emcee. and i'm very proud of him and he has always wanted to play this role. but i'm still at taht i want to be involved jealousy stage. and i'm sad because he has rehersal everyday. i mean. everyday. but them's the breaks and i'm going to stop whinning. there is one thing that i was bothered by last night. it's the fact taht i always want to go with him over to rachel or amerson's house, and he alwyas goes without me. i'll call him and he'll be like, yeah! come over hang out...but i feel really uncomfortable driving over to his friends house where i wasn't - seemingly - originally invited...and just showing up by myslef. i've gotten over it whenhe does it with his parents because i'm used to them and thier house. but not his friends. and i just feel like he should think about that. i don't know. that seems really shallow and stupid, but i was kinda hurt last night. i need to go wake him up here in a minute.

io have all this inspiration to do so much for school and for brandon's musical and everything taht i wanted to get done in the summer...and just like this past summer i've had no motovation to get it done. i really should work on art and sewing and jewels and costume designs and i want to read....make me do someting someone!! i'm going to potty now...haha thought you should know taht. and i'm not spellchecking dammit! call me if you are not busy tonight and you want to be creative. ; )

hurumph.

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 22:17:44 GMT

i feel very left out when most of my friends are doing "the big show". mostly i just want to be backstage and say that i am a part of it all. but i have never seen a mainstage show like this in tucker...so i'm happy about that too...i guess...grr. this wholet hing with the theatre department is that you have to be involved in everything and if you aren't you are one of those people that isn't involved and therefore not cool enough. grr. but i know i'm cool enough. i'm just rambling now. i hope everyone gets what they want tonight at callbacks and whatnot. i'm sorry for those of you that aren't going to be there tonight, i know what it feels like. i've not been calledback before too. sigh. i have a lot of homework to do but i am quite tired and i would like to talk to austin. or lnz. i don't know about the whole mitch hedberg thing tonight. i might just want to wait on the kids to get out of rehersal. becuase that's what i'm going to be doing for the rest of the month. waiting for austin to get out of reahersal so i can see him for a minute. but i think we are going to hang out tonight because neither of us have classes tomorrow and i feel kind of bad about abandoning him last night. we did get to watch colombo this afternoon with none other than johnny cash! as the murderous guest star. haha. i think i'm going to go shopping for plays now. just so you know. ha.

oh! fun story. i was hanging out with asutin like i just said. and he and anna had to go to class. so i piled them in the truck and off we went. well. there was a lot of traffic trying to turn onto faulkenberry when i finally got to pull out of ewing...so i was just trying to be aggressive and pull in front of someone and get to turn. so i kind of nudge over and this guy pulls up like " no way honey!" so i got mad and went to the girl in front of him and just went for it. because you know at stop lights that people leave almost and entire car length between them and the cars in front of them. so i just went. she honked at me. then i got completely in front of her when the line started to move and she was continually honking and honking. i just ignored her. austin and anna wanted to die. i started laughing because i wasn't endangering anyone, i was just trying to get on campus. so she pulls around to the left side of me and slows down to give me the finger. i just smiled at her. because i really didn't care. austin and anna applauded me. i just call it city driving. cause that's what it was. it wasn't even close to the crazy things that we had to do in russia to get through traffic...

on the lunch...

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 17:03:09 GMT

i'm eating a sandwich at work and reading up on everyone...i'm crazy sick, but not sick enough to be poor for a week. ha. went to erin and herman's wedding shower lastnight. it was very sweet and fun. though austin complained about having to go he had a good time. and then decided to be in a bad mood for the rest of the night. amerson, rachel, james, laura, and brandon all came over last night. laura is leaving tomorrow. and i don't really know how i feel about that. i'm trying not to think about it at all. because i will be better off that way. we have been spending a lot of time together lately...so i guess i will be ok. and i can always find a cheap flight to seattle for fall break or something. and she'll be home for christmas. probably. hmm.

amber. i want you to get out of my head. that last entry...right on baby. i feel the exact same way. word for word. strange. i love you sweetheart and i'll be the awkwardly-quiet girl right by your side this semester. i want to be back in classes, but i am not looking forward to all the drama. i just want to have soemthing to do with caberet and nothing to do with jbs. i know that's mean, but i mean it. i can't take her anymore. my break is almost over...

i can't wait to live. really live like i want to live.

And if I die today I'll be the HAPPY Phantom
And I'll go chasin' the nuns out in the yard
And I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on
And I will never need umbrellas in the rain
I'll wake up in strawberry fields every day
And the atrocities of school I can forgive
The HAPPY phantom has no right to bitch

Oo who the time is getting close
Oo who time to be a ghost
Oo who every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will we pay for who we been

So if I die today I'll be the HAPPY phantom
And I'll go wearin' my NAUGHTIES like a jewel
They'll be my ticket to the universal opera
There's Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand
And then these seven little men get up to dance
they say Confucius does his crossword with a pen
I'm still the angel to a girl who hates to SIN

Oo who the time is getting close
Oo who time to be a ghost
Oo who every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been

Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back
You found a girl that you could TRULY love again
Will you still call for me when she falls asleep
Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see

Oo who the time is getting close
Oo who time to be a ghost
Oo who every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I been

cindy needs to come see me. fo real.
i need to not be sick.
i need to give up on the f.d.o. contest (like there was any contest...) because i'm too sick to finish my pants and i won't have cool hair until tuesday at the earliest. hmm. i need to get back.

............

oh to be a clementine...

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 00:40:23 GMT

so it's been a few days. i am broken now. i some how pulled a muscle in my side. and no it's not from sex. everyone says that! i think it's from how i slept...? or just from me being stupid...not really sure. but i also pulled the muscle in my arch when i was running out to get the mail. grr. so i'm broken.
i finally decided to dye my hair...and my mom and shirley (sarah's mom) have been making fun of me all morning. grr. but i will have a killer first day outfit. so there! sarah and i have been watching sex and the city all morning. afternoon i should say. we're having no work-it's too hot outside-let's just be girls day. it's awesome. i guess i never updated about this weekend...it was really fun. we went to see garden state with laura and james and john on friday...beautiful lovely all the best. one of my new favorite movies. go see it! and that was just a wonderful night. the movie made everything magical in a way. romantic i guess i should say. saturday was the day of cake and overflowing the dish washer. sunday was hanging out with laura after work (after having fun boyfriend time) and then she spent the night. we lazed around all day on monday because we didn't have to work and then we got ready and took pictures and hung out at the laundry mat with austin and j brock. great great pictures. ask to see them for they are amazing. we played in the thunderstorm with alex and just had fun. then i worked on tuesday and sarah came home from new york and we hung out with all the girls (i mean ryan and brandon...oops) and yeah. it's been really good few days. austin's really stressed about the majors meeting, but i think everything will be fine. it always is. school on monday! i'm so excited. i have 3 classes. textiles, CAD, and playwriting. CJ and Alex are in playwriting with me, and i don't think i know anyone else in my other classes...amber! if we don't get to see each other at school we should go out to dinner for the showing of the F.D.O's!! haha. i'm so excited. watch - i'm not going to get my pants done and my hair is going to look awful, and you'll just win because i'm in a bad mood. hahaha. wouldn't that be great. oh well.

nite of nites

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 16:37:33 GMT

i'm not the way
i thought i was
it was starting to feel like the worst of times
i've got to choose sides
am i wicked? am i right?
or am i just reacting all the time?
i'm not the way
i thought i was.
i was starting to see all the worst in life.
i've got to lose sight
of their pompous, boring lies
i was starting to think i couldn't fight
i've got to fight!
just not in the way i once thought right.

thanks for the rainer maria lnz. i love it.

i hung out with lnz last night. and jessica. and i spent all night just thinking. and writing. about how i feel so different. i watched lnz play yesterday and i just flet that she was being her true self...and i haven't felt my truness in what feel like forever. except last night. i felt real. and i want there to be realness like that everyday. i'm glad you are both back in my life, especially lnz. i've missed your reality checks. haha. even though they are subtle. i went to talk to austin about some stuff, but he was tired and i didn't want to get into everything that i've been feeling lately when he needed to be up and i didn't have his full attention. i want there to be some changes in my life. and i want to go back to church. i have never really gone since we quit the first time. but i would like to try it. i just don't know where to start. you know? i've been to a lot of churches in town and i've never felt at home. except at acclaim. and i'm not even sure they still do that anymore. hmm. i'm going to enjoy the rain today and finish my curtains. if you guys want to get together tonight or anything, let me know. i know i'm going to talk to austin, but that will be later tonight. who knows. but give me a call if you want. thanks again. next time i'll stay and talk in the driveway. ; )

"i want to see your goodness around me..."

hahahhaahhahahhahah!!!!

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 18:33:13 GMT

go jessica!!!
big boobs? lnz?! hahaha.
i love this!

a poem for amber

Wed, 18 Aug 2004 17:10:06 GMT

i was reading amber's deviantart page and was inspired... thanks babe!

i read what she speaks
and wonder of this
souled sista
where such vision
such intention
could spawn
could grow
could reside for the pickin

share a small bite
just a drop
a mere peak
into this lyrical reverie
for this jealous
paled skinned naivity
would love to partake
to enjoy
to participate
in what a beautiful
brown bodied lady
has to say
about the world
about life
about the very breath
that surrounds two pairs
of like eyes
that percieve
true individuality

so there you are lovely. ; )

i've had a good couple of days. hanging out with austin has been better than usual for some reason. there was an impromptu party on his porch the other night followed by some romance. and last night i cooked dinner (very successfully i might add) and we were both quite happier for it. branodn and ryan came over and commented on ladies gymnastics with us last night. USA silver! we were excited. i'm making curtains for work and they are beautiful. actually that is what i am supposed to be doing now...but i would like to find some rain boots before i get off the internet. so there. maybe i'll update more later tonight.

p.s. amber, i think i just might have a killer first day outfit! how's yours comin?!

grr

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 23:52:49 GMT

it's only days like this that i really want to lose weight and yet i could have gone for a bike ride and i didn't because i wanted to take a nap...grr...it's just frustrating when i know what i want and i can see myself there, but getting there is so hard. i see amber and jess and sarah and they are people that can do it, and i am not. but i have at least felt really cute for the last few days. i just know what i want to look like, and i'm not there and i see no easy way to get there...hmm. i did think about walking to the library...but i think i will just drive there instead. because i am a lazy slob. i think i will put myslef on a diet. i did pretty good today. my veggie burger was amazing. and i learned all about yerba mate tea which is like tea for good life. you should come in and try it. it's from the rainforest. in argentina. it's rainforest friendly and smells just like you are there in the woods and the heat and it is wonderful. maybe i will go to the coffee house on my way to the doctor tomorrow and get some...i just might.

sarah and i watched men's syncronized diving today. it. was. great. to say the least. greece won. yay! they were beautiful boys that deserved it. teehee.

i need a shower and to make some curtains. and to just possibly go see my boyfriend. just maybe. we'll see.

party tonight!

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 22:25:26 GMT

there's a party tonight for laura and brandon's birthdays. i will not be drinking much so i will not be crazy. but i will be eating cake and looking good!! so there used to be a food lion across from hollywood video on northfield...but now...it's a THRIFT STORE!!!! new thrift is always to best. i got 3 shirts, 1 coat, 1 jacket, 1 sweater, 1 hoodie, 1 pair of pants, 1 skirt, 2 purses, and a fanny pack (for caleb) for $26. so there. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's good stuff. did anyone else see BJORK on the olympics last night?! that was amazing. i love her.

went on a date for the 10 months. saw de-lovely. and it was just that. lovely. soundtrack is amazing. i better get back to work...

more later...

COME OVER TONIGHT!!!

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